I spent years doing almost everything wrong when it came to my hair. I bought product after product, tried every trending hack, and still ended up with dry, scraggly, lifeless strands that looked nothing like those shiny, bouncy hair commercials I kept seeing. It wasn’t until I actually sat down, did my research, and built a proper routine from scratch that things finally started to change.
So today, I want to walk you through everything I do — from pre-wash to bedtime — because if you’re struggling with your hair, I genuinely believe this guide can help you turn things around.
Step 1: The Pre-Wash Routine (This One Changed Everything For Me)
If you’re not oiling your hair before you shower, please start. But here’s the thing — and I really wish someone had told me this sooner — not all hair oils are created equal.
For your scalp specifically, you want a formulated scalp oil, not just a straight-up pure oil like rosemary oil on its own. The reason is simple: formulated scalp oils tend to be much thinner, and that matters a lot. When you use an oil that’s too thick on your scalp, it can actually clog your hair follicles and block growth. Not what we want.
Now, I know everyone talks about making your hair grow faster — and honestly, no product can actually do that. But oiling your scalp has genuinely been shown to stimulate circulation, which helps your hair grow at its natural, healthy pace.
I apply the oil directly to my scalp and massage it in gently. If you flip your head upside down while you do this, it gives circulation an extra boost. Try it.
Once the scalp is done, I move on to my ends. Ends are almost always the driest, most vulnerable part of your hair, and putting a little oil on them before shampooing is like giving them a protective shield. The shampoo still cleans your hair, but the oil underneath buffers against the harshness.
Step 2: Washing — And Why “Hair Training” Is a Myth
Let me address something that genuinely messed up my hair for a long time: hair training is not real, and it does not work.
I used to follow that advice where you gradually wash your hair less and less to “train” your scalp to produce less oil. Bad idea. You would never tell someone with oily skin to stop washing their face to train it — so why would your scalp be any different? Leaving oils sitting on your scalp for extended periods doesn’t reduce oil production. What it actually does is create buildup, feed fungus, and cause dandruff.
I know this from personal experience. My scalp was so itchy and irritated when I was doing the hair training thing. The moment I started washing regularly again, everything calmed down and my scalp became the healthiest it had ever been.
My Shampoo Routine
When I actually wash, I always double cleanse. The first wash is just to break down the initial layer of oil and product buildup — it’s basically clearing the way. The second wash is where the real cleansing magic happens. You’ll know the difference because the second lather foams up so much more fully.
For my first cleanse, I use a clarifying shampoo — specifically an apple cider vinegar one that I pick up cheaply from the drugstore. I use this one or twice a week. It cuts through buildup beautifully without being too aggressive.
For my second cleanse, I switch to a gentler everyday shampoo. I love one that leaves my hair shiny and glossy without stripping it. I actually rotate between two everyday shampoos just to keep things balanced. And once a week, I throw in a dandruff shampoo — a basic one like Head & Shoulders does the job just fine.
Step 3: Conditioning and Masking
Once my hair is clean, I apply a hair mask to the mid-lengths and ends — never the scalp. I do this twice a week. The key to getting the most out of a hair mask is to actually section your hair when applying it, so you make sure every strand is coated properly. I pin it up, leave it for about 10 minutes (enough time to shave or handle other shower tasks), and then rinse it out thoroughly.
After the mask, I go in with a conditioner to seal everything in. Here’s something I rotate: some conditioners have protein in them, which is great but not something you want to overload your hair with. So I alternate between a protein conditioner and a purely hydration-focused, protein-free one depending on what my hair needs that week.
Step 4: Drying — Put the Regular Towel Down
Please, please stop drying your hair by rubbing it with a regular towel. It’s one of the most damaging things you can do because it causes friction that roughens up the hair cuticle and leads to breakage and frizz.
Switch to a microfiber towel or even just an old soft t-shirt. Both are far gentler on your strands. I wrap my hair up in the microfiber towel for about 20 minutes before doing anything else, and I honestly notice such a difference in how smooth and manageable my hair is afterward. You can get a pack of microfiber towels cheaply online — it’s a small investment that’s completely worth it.
Step 5: Leave-In Products (Do This While Hair Is Still Damp)
This step is non-negotiable for me. Once I take down the microfiber towel and my hair is still damp, I go in with my leave-in products. And the “damp” part is intentional — leave-in conditioners and oils don’t actually add moisture to your hair. They lock in the moisture that’s already there. So if you wait until your hair is fully dry, you’ve missed the window.
My leave-in routine is two steps:
- Leave-in conditioner — I prioritise a protein-free one that focuses purely on hydration. This protects the hair and keeps it soft.
- Hair oil — just a small amount worked through the lengths to seal everything in.
After that, I blow dry on a cool to medium heat setting. I know there’s a lot of debate about blow drying versus air drying, but honestly, as long as you’re not blasting your hair with high heat, blow drying is completely fine and often better than leaving wet hair to sit for hours. Just one important rule: never use heat tools on wet hair. Always make sure your hair is fully dry before reaching for a flat iron or curling wand.
On days between washes, I refresh with a light mist of water and then reapply the leave-in conditioner and oil. It keeps everything looking hydrated and alive without needing a full wash.
Step 6: Trims — The Truth Nobody Tells You
There’s so much confusion about hair trims, especially online. Here’s my honest take: if your goal is length, stop getting frequent trims. You do not need to visit a salon every few weeks. What I do instead is trim my own ends at home every couple of months using proper hair cutting shears — not regular scissors, which can cause more splitting.
I just take small amounts off the ends and dust away any split ends I spot along the hair shaft. It keeps my ends looking clean and healthy without sacrificing length or spending a lot of money at the salon.
Lifestyle Tips That Actually Make a Difference
A few extra habits that I’ve built into my life that have quietly made a big impact on my hair health:
Sleep on a silk pillowcase or use a silk bonnet. Cotton pillowcases create friction overnight that leads to frizz and breakage. Silk eliminates that friction entirely.
Brush gently, always starting from the bottom. Never drag a brush through your hair from root to tip. Start at the ends, work out any tangles there first, then gradually work your way up. Brushing from the top down creates unnecessary breakage.
Invest in a bamboo brush over a plastic one. Bamboo bristles do a much better job of distributing your natural oils from root to end.
Be careful with dry shampoo. I use it when I really need it, but I keep it minimal. Too much dry shampoo leads to serious buildup at the roots, and it caused actual breakage for me right at the root line. When your hair is oily, the better answer is just to wash it.
Focus on nutrition. Hair vitamins are only worth taking if you’re actually deficient in something — otherwise they’re not doing much. Get some basic blood work done so you know what you actually need. I focus on eating a balanced diet, getting my greens in daily, and eating salmon once a week for omega-3 fatty acids. What goes into your body genuinely shows up in your hair.
Consider a night hair serum if you deal with breakage throughout your lengths. Applying a protective serum through your hair before bed can make a real difference in keeping it strong overnight.
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